Self Worth & Orgasms

In a world where free speech to this day is constantly debated and still fought for, the subject of a woman's choice to have plastic surgery is a heated one.

Especially when the plastic surgery is performed for appearances only.
There is no denial that in incredibly extreme cases of cleft plate deformity, car accidents, 3 degree burn incidents and so on that plastic surgery is a life saving procedure for the well being of the victim.
Their is also no denial that still today girls, and boys, are being raised and spoon fed a very narrow, mostly unachievable concept of outward appearances of beauty.

And it does not stop in the formative years. With more and more access to the digital world where even 2 yr olds have their own “smart” phones each and every one of us are constantly bombarded daily, in fact hourly and by the minute photo shopped ideals of how one should appear to “make it” in this world.

The ultimate freedom of working for yourself, anywhere, anytime basically involves one to be able to take stunning photos of oneself in sexy half naked shots proving you have bought into the agenda that good healthy food is a status for the elite and you get to do it on a beach in paradise.

These productions of proof gain you thousands and thousands of likes, lifting your status to someone that others would like to be and now you are an influencer.

In an era that is supposedly on the other side of feminism, where we are meant to be reaping the rewards for what our for mothers fought for, we are still receiving less pay than men, we have higher rates of single mothers raising children on their own than ever before, are constantly bombarded with the pink tax, the beauty product industry is the highest most profitable industry to date, women's “health Issues” are on an all time high and with each decade an even skinnier version of the perfect female body to strive for to gain all the success we could possibly dream of.
Plastic surgeries have risen to.....in the last 5 years with female mutilation high on the list.
Whilst human rights bodies all over the world are campaigning for women's rights in certain countries of Africa to not have their outer labia's cut for religious reasons, in the affluent Western countries such as the USA, Canada and Australia we have women flocking to have theirs re shaped as the porn industry reaps it's havoc on our warped perception of normalcy.



Now a days the perfect female body will get you affiliates on your instagram and youtube accounts, companies will send you loads of free gifts that you can now surely afford so that your perfect self can show the world they are apart of your perfection and freedom, it will gain you the perfect relationship with the perfect looking other and if you decide not to be in a relationship then that is how you keep your perfect life.

The need to look the part causes us to turn a blind eye to the killing of other living beings so our products can be deemed safe enough for our consumption.
Perceived success in an image of beauty that is not real causes death to others.
The death of the true human spirit, the death of animals that are used for product testing and the death of other humans in lower socio economic groups that receive money for the testing of products and drugs including those used to reach the unachievable goal of societies perceived beauty.
The constant inner dissatisfaction reeks havoc in relationships creating an elephant n the room that stands in the way of true intimacy.
New research by McCrindle and laser machine brand Cynosure shows most women want to change something about their bodies and believe their lives would be better with a more "sculpted" body.
According to the research, 93 per cent of Australian women believe their body shape could be improved and 59 per cent of women are unhappy with their body shape.
Almost a third said they would feel more confident in their love lives and would enjoy going to the beach more. 37 per cent would "feel more confident when I go out with friends" and 43 per cent would be "more OK with who I am".
Almost one in four Aussie women have tried microdermabrasion, diet pills, chemical peel, cellulite cream, liposuction, a breast augmentation or a facelift.

I feel I have been rebelling against this machine since I was a child.
It has made me angry, resentful to be living in our society and mad that it still exists. I was somehow under the illusion that by the time I reached my own adulthood years we would all be over this.



But now in a time where being a “Goddess” is each and every woman's right if not a “necessity” to show how happy and successful she is, it feels like we have only become more and more obsessed of how we look like as a Goddess than truly embodying who we truly are as individuals.



I don't have the answers to it all, just as I never did back when I was hitchhiking my way around Mexico, Bolivia, Paraguay, Argentina and Brasil proving to the world as a woman I could do anything. That as a woman I could be anywhere, do what I want and succeed making my mark as a wild woman.
I even rode an Enfield motorbike through Rhajhastan along the Pakistani border to push my own limit of fear as a woman in a country that showed I was human fodder to be poked grabbed and pulled at.

But I do know one answer to many of these ailments of lack of self worth, female competition, body issues, relationship issues, menstrual cramps, migraines, despondency, lack lustre skin, stress and the feeling of always missing out by not being in a relationship ...O R G A S M.



I was with a friend a few weeks ago as she was purchasing a hoped solution to her menstrual cramps. I suggested she have an orgasm at least every 4 hours during her bleed. Soon after I received a message from her telling me that she experienced her first pain free menstruation in years.
Before a Migraine hits full force, an orgasm will release the blood constriction occurring around the brain. But not once it has settled in as a migraine. So there is no stalling on this one. Just Do It.
Orgasms raise our oxytocin levels which means they make us happier.
The more orgasms women have the less competitive they are towards each other, basically because they are happier.
Orgasms create cell renewal giving our skin that gorgeous glow and youthful look that way too many women try to create spending hours in the bathroom with expensive products trying to achieve.

Orgasms release stress and make us feel happier with ourselves meaning we spend less time emotionally shopping A N D less time emotionally eating.
With less crap food going into our bodies we end up feeling better about ourselves.
When we are feeling better about ourselves we are more present in our relationships.



The list goes on. And if you still feel unconvinced than just ask yourself do you really think we were given orgasms in our bodies by the creator just so we could procreate and have other humans produced? That is a hell of a lot of menstruations per life time and a hell of a lot of time spent N O T having orgasms if this was so.
Want another reason to have an orgasm a day?
They balance your hormones.

Always with Love

& an ocean of Pleasure.

Melissa Louise.

Strengthen Your Cock

Strengthen Your Cock

Firstly I want to state my disclaimer for using the word “C O C K” instead of lingham or Penis.

I lived in and out of Bali for many years where I was designing clothes and accessories.

In the Balinese culture lies a sport that I do not agree with.

Cock Fighting.

But what I witnessed among the Balinese men was their pride for their bird. It was petted, groomed, well fed and adored as this bird represented the owner in it's prowess in the fighting ring.

The Cock birds were shiny, colorful and strong.

And it did not go unnoticed that many of these birds were looked after more so than their women.

Putting the sport and the cultural differences between the sexes aside, I was enamoured by how these male chickens ( the Cocks ) were housed in their own little cane built cages, primed to be their best and how they were singled out for adoration and pride. ( until they lost a fight of course )''

But watching the Balinese men with their birds I could not help make the correlation of the masculine energy they placed and put into these birds that would be well directed if similarly placed towards their own sexual member. Their own Cocks.

To be petted, well looked after, adored, healthy and honoured.

So that is why I use the word  C O C K.

It is a strong and powerful word. It stands alone.

So lets get on with how you can strengthen your glorious sexual member.

Is it possible to strengthen I hear you ask ?

Abso - F*%#ing- lutely it is possible.

Depending on your unique genetic make up, your penis is made up of anywhere from 30-60% what is known as smooth muscle tissue. And just like other kinds of muscle tissue, it can grow (or shrink) depending on how you use it.



If you have or do suffer from erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation please know you are among many men. Especially as you age, and have spent many years in work you do not particularly enjoy or have not purposely devoted time to healing childhood traumas, you need to know that ED is often a direct result to not having a purpose in life.
( more on that later ).
Strengthening your cock physically, emotionally and mentally can turn your sex life from something that gives you anxiety into something that you confidently crave.
If you have not suffered from ED or PE and want to strengthen your cock for better sex, firmer erections, and legendarily lasting power between the sheets, then this information is also great for you . 

 

First it is important to know that you need to sharpen Your Own Sword.

 

In other words you can not be relying on any over the counter quick fixes.
these pills/herbs/supplements only make the problem worse- on multiple levels as even though they don't last, or don't work at all you will be using a crutch.
And I have heard of men complain that the pills actually made them so hard that it hurt so badly that then they had to use ice packs to make their erections go down. So stay away!
You need to be building authentic confidence and build the strength naturally.

First What You Need To Stop Doing

A lifetime of poor sexual conditioning results in pelvic floor muscles (and therefore your erections) weaker than they could be, and your sexual awareness less than ideal.
With a few simple shifts in your lifestyle, you can shift from lack lustre to lasting longer.

1. Remove Stressors From Your Life

Stress is the new Crack in our culture but it is a lifestyle that hits you right where it hurts. When we are stressed our cortisol levels sky rocket and this makes your sex drive drop like a rock,
It will be harder for you to be present when you are making love with your partner.
Remove any and all stressors that you have control over in your life.



Do you really need to be working those extra hours of overtime?
Do you really need to be loading up your body with coffee/energy drinks/caffeine?
What extra responsibilities can you politely and firmly decline that are being thrown at you?
A more balanced and relaxed lifestyle that you can have, the better you will feel overall.
This will also allow you to perform better sexually.
This means more fun, more play, and more socializing.
Less grinding, hustling, and overtime
Add some infrequent intense workouts in the mix and your body and mind will thank you for it.

2. Stop Watching Porn

Studies have shown over and over again the fact that excessive (or even moderate) porn usage negatively affects your erectile strength and ability to become aroused with your significant other.
So if you really want to strengthen your penis, cut out the porn, and over the course of the next few weeks you will see your erectile strength increasing steadily.

3. Stop Racing Towards Ejaculation

( this is my personal favourite )
Don't get me wrong, quickies are amazing and they definitely have their place ( especially when your beloved is ovulating ) but if your habit of masturbation is to race to ejaculation as quickly as possible then you’re missing out on a lot of prime penis strengthening time.
Not to mention you are setting a neural pathway that will pretty well soon enough distance you from your lover.
If you are not yet practicing mindful masturbation with mastering your ejaculation then know that just for now if you make it over the five minute mark then it will be the fastest way to grow and strengthen your penis (and therefore erections).

What You Need To Start Doing Mentally

1. Recognize Anxious Thoughts

Listen to your internal dialogue as you start to get physical with your partner.
Do your thoughts leap to “I hope I’ll perform well this time” or “Come on penis, get up!”?
If they do, then this internal battle is not helping. At all.
It takes everyone some time to become physically ready to have sex.
Energetically speaking men are like fire, women are life water.
It takes a good 45 min and more for a woman to be F U L L Y ready to be penetrated. ( note many women are conditioned to be penetrated way too early )
So have patience with yourself and focus on the sensations your body is feeling. Getting to know your arousal is really, really important in the practice of ejaculation mastery.

2. Name The Elephant In The Room

If erectile dysfunction (even infrequent ED has been a pattern for you, make sure that you let your partner in on it.
It may be awkward the first time you bring it up, but suffering in silence doesn’t help either one of you.
Many women are conditioned to believe that if a man has a soft cock then he is not attracted to her.
Speaking about what happens for you will not only set her mind at ease but will also allow you to see if she is going to be supportive. Because if she is unable to be then she is not the woman for you. !

3. Realize That Porn Has Misled You

Generally people are aware of the level of trickery that goes into major blockbuster Hollywood films, especially with all the special effects used these days.
But what people often don’t know is that porn is just as fake.
Having watched many interviews and production streams of women directed porn productions, I can assure you that the seemingly stallion-like men that appear in porn don’t operate like that in real life. And on a real porn set, the performers stop and start frequently and it can even take several weeks of filming and then edited into one scene.
So yes, it is entirely possible to last for hours on end. But the expectation that you should be able to have sex four hours straight without even temporary breaks throughout is Extremely unrealistic. ( and believe me your partner needs breaks as well ! )
Also...It’s completely natural to go partially soft during sex.
Don’t think that because the guys in porn (seem like they) don’t take breaks that you shouldn’t be.
So remember to let go of the performance mindset. It is okay to go limp, it happens to everyone (and besides, your mouth and hands still work).

What You Need To Start Doing Physically

1. Kegels

Kegel exercises (flexing and holding the muscles that stop the flow of urine – aslo referred to as the PC or pelvic floor muscles) are a great way to begin reconnecting yourself with your genitals.
We are so disconnected from our sexuality in our daily lives that even a few quick pulses can remind us that we are sexual beings. I recommend this to both men and women.
While simple kegel exercises won’t give you a six pack in your pants, they are a great first step. Try these out for a couple of weeks in increasing levels of difficulty.
Doing greater number of pulses, or longer holds at a time.

2. Power Kegels

You want to be doing this twice a week for 10 min each time. Masturbate to arousal. Then drape dry hand towels over your penis and do modified pull ups. ( kegels ). 
Once this gets easier, wet the hand towels with water, and then graduate to small beach towels after that.
Doing this in the shower makes it easy to fit into your day.
Keep a few small washcloths in the shower so that you can soak them, do a few sets of exercises, and then hang them up to dry in the shower.
You will noticeably strengthen your penis within a few weeks.
Remember to take days off in between your kegel sessions. Just like any other muscles on your body, the muscles of your pelvic floor actually strengthen in days of rest (not during the exercises themselves).

3. Masturbation Without Porn

To begin your recconnection with your cock, masturbate without the use of porn. Porn is an external stimulus that takes your mind off of the physical sensations you are feeling and into the realm of being an observer. By cutting out porn and being pushed to use your imagination you will start to re-sensitize to your body and get to know the many different levels of your sexual arousal.
The more awareness you have of what your physical level of arousal is the more control you will have over your erections and ejaculations with your partner.

4. The “8-5 Technique”

Self love on Steroids.
This is a variation of the Master Your Ejaculation that I teach.
Which if you want to go further into feel free to book a session with me and I will be happy to work with you personally.
But this exercise is a great one to strengthen your penis while simultaneously upgrading your sexual stamina.
Masturbate to arousal (without porn) and, on an internal scale of 1 to 10, through the quickening and slowing down of your manual stimulation you want to be rising and falling your sexual arousal between a 5 to a 8. ( 10 being ejaculation )
For simplicity’s sake let’s say that a 5 is where you are still quite erect but your mind is calm & an 8 is nearing the point of no return ( Your PNR ) but staying a safe distance away from it so you can ease back down to a 5.
You want to do this rising and falling pattern between 8 and 5 for sessions of greater than 20 minutes. It might sound like a lot, but once you make it past the five minute mark it gets considerably easier.
Have patience with yourself, and realize that with each round of 8-5 that you do, you become more aware of your sexual arousal range, your cock gets stronger, and you gain more control over your ejaculatory response … all of which equal you being a better lover with greater sexual stamina. You will notice the increased results with your partner after just one or two sessions. gain more control over your ejaculatory response

5. Deep Breathing

Breath is Key.
To almost everything in sex.
Breath and presence.
What we often see, what we are fed in the media of movies and all that jazz, is this tense version of ejaculation. Quick, tense and done with way too soon. This version of ejaculation is in fact how you speed it up. Holding your breath also contributes to ejaculating quickly.
To slow down and elongate your sexual session, relax your muscles and breathe deeply into your belly.
Deep breathing is one of the fastest ways to gain more control over your increasing sexual arousal. Consciously check in with your body, breathe deeply into your belly, and relax your muscles while focusing all of your energy on the sensations that your body is feeling.

A mans cock is like a barometer for how confident he feels in his life.

If his sexual essence is soft and limp, then so is his drive in other areas of his life.

The strength and stamina of your cock are not the only things that make you an amazing lover. ( believe me ) but having confidence in your cock is a damn good place to start in having sexual confidence.

Here is where I want to widen the view.

There is a lot of pressure for men to penetrate a lover.

But whilst you are fixated on that penetration you are leaving out all the magik before hand,

Mindfully masturbating with out shame or guilt is paramount for men and it not only strengthens your cock but also your heart and mind.

The core of a man's life is his purpose.

So if you are not living in the expression of your purpose, you are not penetrating life with who you are as a man.

When a man is not penetrating life then penetrating his lover also becomes a challenge and becomes a stress in his life.

“With out a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost, drifting adopting to events rather than creating events. With out knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.”

David Deida

Strengthen your cock naturally with these exercises and ask yourself... is what I am doing now part of my purpose? Or am I supporting some one else's purpose.?

Always with Pleasure

Melissa.