So! Lets Talk About Forgiveness.

So........

lets talk about forgiveness.

This past weeks planetary chaos of Mercury, Mars, Pluto, Jupiter and Saturn in frickin' retrograde all at the same time has been a kin to seven one tonne trucks colliding through the brick wall of my protection throwing dirty laundry around like a hurricane whilst still having to get on with business as usual.

Except today was not so usual.

Being Sunday it was a beach day. A day spent on the beach consoling friends that are each going through their own version of heavy shit. Using the crashing waves to wash away our tears and fears our kids played hard on their boogy boards and laughed at the ocean as we women sobbed.

 

Come two o'clock in the afternoon I needed to be on the internet virtually gathering with a rather fabulous group of women in a conference meeting room.

We all know that with Mercury Retrograde every few months for a few weeks we experience mountains of issues with phones, computers and all electronic communication going haywire.

Mercury Retrograde on a Sunday here in Costa Rica is hell.

Any given Sunday the limited band width of small town internet is bogged down with the new culture of screen time replacing lazy family hammock connection with every man, woman, child and pet mindlessly scrolling down fluro flashes of other people moments in time.

So even though I found myself in a cafe with good wifi ( bonus #1 ) and they served REALLY GOOD coffee ( bonus #2, #3, #4 and so on to infinity) I spent in between my soul warming sips of latte trying to consistently re connect, re boot and re trying to get online with these women in Australia.

Frustrated that I was not able to full fill my part within the online gathering I took solace that it had to do mostly with the dance of the five planets whirling above. Much has been written about pausing in this time. BUT as they say when a planet and more so with five planets going into retrograde opportunities are thrown at us to review, re-visit, remember, re-wire, re-do, re-claim and release.

Weather we damn well want to or not.

With our hands tied behind our backs and cream pies thrown into our faces we are forced to look at all the shit we have done, created and had done to us with trillions of opportunities to forgive.

Grumble grumble, holy hell and really? Right now? This minute?

Well yes.

So even though Mercury messes with electrical wires and stuff the same planet can give us a second chance of communicating with someone where things didn’t go well the first time around. Often we get to unexpectedly bump into our past gaining the chance for some juicy closure or simply receive a message helping us on our yellow brick path.

This is exactly what happened for me in Sibu.

Finally giving up on the meeting, ordering another latte I not only received a message from one dark shadow of a male in my past, but three. All at the same time.

Holy shit.

Three different men, three different continents and three different heart breaks.

Bam...

By the end of all three face book calls and messages, forgiveness was in full flight, loads of love was flying around, kisses galore and promises of speaking again soon.

After spending time in my past it was time to look at my present.

Time to forgive those moments of red flags ignored.

Whilst the planets have been causing havoc upstairs, my life on earth has been caught in a whirlwind of promise with big lips that liked to kiss, but at the end of the day it is not enough.

What does it take for a man to rock my world?

A hell of a lot I am finding out.

So the search still continues and in the meantime I will join Pluto who loves a good detox, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.

Running again up damn steep hills, concentrating on releasing old habits, purging some issues with and without a swig of Ayauasca, I think I will go on retreat in my own house, in my own beautiful jungle, do some hard core healing, clear out my house and wardrobe whilst continuing to keep on following my shiny juicy inner guidance.